since i was posting old posts i decided to add this one. i cant remember when i wrote this one, i just remember it was in the middle of the night an i woke and had a strong urge to write and thankfully i sleep with a journal next to my bed... lol... but i had lost it for the longest time...

The Courage I Never Had
I never thought I’d have the courage to say
I love you to my crushes face
always staring into the glare of your eye
wondering what caught your eye

I never thought I’d have the courage to say
I was done with you
done with all the lies you told
done with my heart you stole

I never thought I had the love to give
to such a person who hated to live
a person who was afraid of life
and what it could do

you would and could have took your life away
but I stood and told you not to give away

you told me you loved me
I thought that was true
then I saw what your kind of love could do
you took my love and my life

now your life is gone as well
I hope you go down to hell
you told me you'll never hurt me
I thought that was true too
and I believed you like a fool

now I’m here in this bright place
hearing voices as I moved from place to place
I don’t know why, but I feel home
I feel the love you once gave
I feel the love I want to give
I feel the thrive to go on
I feel the courage to love you again

I feel the courage I never had

lol... i can't rhyme... and i know its kind of cheasy but remember i woke up in the middle of the night, and thats just what makes it awesome... lol...

i saw that Sha'Ron had put a post about love an it remined me of a post that i did 2 summers ago-june10 to be exact- and put on my myspace-which i abandoned, lol.

love is when you miss him before he's gone
when you crave to hear his voice when your away
when you can't think of anything else but him
when your with him nothing else matters
when you talk to him you feel you can tell him any and everything
you feel like he's your world and your the luckiest one in it
and when you lose him you dont want to let go
you want to hold on to what little of him you have left
you think that even tough your apart that he stll loves you
but you don't know why he would cause you such pain
you never want to let im go
even though he broke your ♥

Lol... Ok, so I'm on the computer this one day right, and one of my freinds IM me and we talk for a minute. Then she's all, "Hey, Naomi you gotta check out these videos, the guy is like so cute and has the cutest accent." And then I'm all like, "Ok sure, what the heck? Why not?" And then she sends me a youtube link. And then I click on it. But this isn't the vid that she sent me, I thought it had at least something to do with blogging... So... yup...



I just love him, he's oober funny and cute... Lol... and has the cutest accent... You should check out his youtube channel My Chonney
He has over 100,000 subscibers and has captured he heart of mayny people, guys included... lol... Oh yea, he's in Australia, thats why is accet is awesome... Lol...
*WARNING* He sometimes says/does mature things so i do not advise youngins to watch, though my 11 year old brother does, I don't recommend...

Lol, I think genes are an awesome thing when it comes to my parents. I think they are so cool and laid back, plus they're gypsies... meaning they dont like to be tied down to one place-if you didn't know. My dad was a skater and my mom was pretty much almost like me-wears alot of black and ws a skate betty.. lol.. but when she was forced to do beauty pageants she'd be the only one wearing a black dress... lol.. she's cool. she's filipino, if your wondering and my dad is african-american. so i guess i get the way i dress from them and of course my looks, everyone says i look just like my mums... i'm free flowy, down to earth, a romanticist*sp*, realist, and optimistic... sometimes.. lol.. i dont like to be trapped or restricted or stuck in one place, just like my parents-except i dont think they're romanticists*sp*... i've moved about 5 times in the last six, seven, eight years maybe.. and i'm about to move again so you probably wont see me next semester, but who knows.. anything can happen... and i love adventure and going to new places, but i dont know about meeting new people-that one i'm not good at... im too timid and shy.. until i warm up to you, of course. my parents used to own a store in little 5 points called Soul Kiss, i loved that store to death. they had imported goods fom morocco, india, asia, africa... all over the world... but unfortunately, the economy when down and we hd to give it up, it is now criminal records... but now they do it gypsy style... lol

Japanese music... ahh... Where do I start? Well, I love it for one. It not always the same ole same ole stuff. Even though I don't know what they're saying its still fun to just listen to and jump around too, which I do more than I'd like to admit. And the guys are so cute its ridiculous, lol. I think that when you listen to different types of music it helps you to develope a better, more diverse personality because your not always listening to the same thing over and over again, because quite frankly, it gets kind of boring-well to me at least.

If you couldn't handle it anymore, would you quit? If you were too stressed you felt everything was just not going the right way, would you stop? If you really truely loved that person, would you do it to them? If you felt you had no other choice but too, would you do it? If you knew it was going to tear them apart, but you still felt it had to be done, would you still do it? If you got to the point to where nothing was going your way, you felt trapped, suffocated, controlled and you couldn't cry but it hurt so much and you felt the only way to alleviate the pain was to hurt yourslf, would you continue? When the world that you tried so hard to hold up was crumbling down before you and it was all your fault, what would you do? You don't want to hurt the person you thought you loved, you don't want to keep living in pain, you don't want to keep hurting yourself, but in the end, its all your fault when you end up doing all three.

Ok... Lets see... I'm a junior at Stephenson High School. I love anime and the Japanese culture. I hope to one day become a translator/ pediatritian/ vet/ marine biologist/ lawyer/ realestate agent/ better speller/ author/ photographer/ architect/ and graphic designer. Lol, I want to be alot. Hm... I like to teach myself things alot of people normally wouldn't. Like, writing backward-which I'm actually pretty good at now, palm reading, learning more than 3 languages at a time- I'm taking a Latin class, teaching myself Japanese and picking up on some Spanish, writing with my left hand and trying to learn calligraphy. Oh, and I'm also teaching myself how to play the piano. I'm African-American, Filipino, and Spanish. I have 3 birds, 1 lizard, a dog, 2 brothers and 2 sisters. My parents are Musilm and want me to be but they don't know that I'm not. Actually I can' say I even have a religion. I, what Troy likes to say, believe in everything but nothing at all. I have part of every religion, at last I think.... What else is there to say? I like black-alot. People like to call me wierd and look at me retarded because I don't dress like them but in actualit they know they wish they can dress and act like me and pull it off. Ok.. I think I'm done for now... Any questins?